Dating: Getting your mojo back (or making sure you never lose it)

Dating. A funny word. You are technically by the laws of 21st century society, single but you can be flirty, talking and seeing a guy but not be deemed as ‘In a relationship’ – according to Facebook. Times have changed so much over the years, romance isn’t yet dead just perhaps forming in the method of left and right swiping.

Right now as I write this post, I’m single. To me it feels strange, but in truth I am loving it. Time to spend with myself, my girlfriends and enjoy life. But here’s the thing for all you taken women out there, this doesn’t have to stop. Just remember that.

This post idea came to me whilst relaxing in a pool of bubbles, Lush aromas and body scrub. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to get out so quickly so I could write this before the idea slipped away.

I was on the tube this morning with a colleague having a discussion about various things – some work related, some not. When I realised that your mojo is your thing. Your parents and your friends hold only one point of view and pretty much are looking out for you but you have to do what is right for you. I’m not saying go out, get drunk and snog the first guy that you see but think about your mojo. Sometimes when people take time out of the dating game it can be hard to find the confidence to get back in. You won’t always find ‘the one‘ straight away – there are plenty of frogs to kiss before you find your prince. The first and foremost thing I can suggest is to be happy. Do what makes you happy. Bake, take a bubble bath, go shopping, move away, go on holiday. Do whatever you need to do to get back to a good place. Now, I went to work for the distraction of everyday life and found that it was a brilliant stepping stone to feeling in control of my fairly recent crumbled life.

But I didn’t wait, I got online and started talking. I always thought that being single I would take the time to ‘find myself again’ but the truth is that doesn’t work for me – and it might not for you. Despite this, it showed to me what mattered in my life. From being a complete foodie to loving the simplicity of watching tv in bed and most importantly my friends and family. Don’t push them away, you need them always (and vice versa). The best ones will stick around you even if they you have gone bat crazy and in need of dire help. Now this post is about getting your mojo back, in truth I probably fit better with the latter part of the title and I’m making sure I never lose it. But here are my top five quick fire tips to finding that mojo back!

  1. Have a bubble bath, pamper and relax! This is so important, treat yourself to your favourite magazine and Lush bath bomb and don’t look at your phone. Spending that time to think is the worst culprit for ex-stalking. Not healthy, not going to help and you should be pampering you.
  2. Take your time. If you just want to talk then just do that, and remember you need to take each step at your own pace.
  3. It’s okay to take a break. If you just feel like you can’t handle the dating scene just stop and pick it back up again later (if you want to that is)
  4. Go with the flow. If you are really enjoying the conversation and company of someone but don’t know where it’s going to go just enjoy it whilst it’s there – it might (or might not) last, only time will tell.
  5. Be happy and be you. This is the hardest life lesson of all, not just dating. Life can throw a ton of bricks at you and leave you feeling crushed but you can be your own superhero and make your way out of the rubble and striking that super man/woman pose.

If you are recently single what did you to get back in the game? Or did you wait until you felt ready? I would love to hear your stories about getting your mojo back or how you never let it fade away.